I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
