What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
