i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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