he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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