come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Randomize
