I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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