Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
