and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
