im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
