i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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