I just saw a hot homeless man
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
