anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
