THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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