The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
