sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
