Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
