Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
