fuck your aforementioned shoe
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize