If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
