it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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