My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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