Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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