Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
