He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
