I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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