I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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