Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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