i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
