Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
