What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she looked like the before picture.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
