so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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