We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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