Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
