How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
