y did u give ur computer a hand job?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
