i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Life is so much better after having sex.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize