If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
