I seem to have left my pride at pride
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
