Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
