Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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