Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
