I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
