I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
