guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
