Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
