I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I want is dick and wine.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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