oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
