You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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