all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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