i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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