3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
