my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
