is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
