you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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