Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize