Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
