What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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