I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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