If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
