i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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